Women Troubles
by IceCat Demon
Summary: After a misunderstanding between the guys and the girls, Ginny and HErmione decide to give Harry and ROn a little perspective into the lives of women. CHapter four us finally up!
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Harry Potter or related names and characters. I own the plot and the two American characters.

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny spent the first summer after the defeat of Voldemort and his Death Eaters on vacation at the beach. They rented a cabin and magicked it, so that no Muggles would surprise them and discover their magic. Hermione and Ginny changed into their bathing suits and went out on the beach. Hermione wore an orange two-piece and Ginny wore an emerald-green bikini. The men stared at their women.

"Finish unpacking then you can come out, too," Ginny said. She and Hermione left their cabin talking and giggling.

On the beach in front of their cabin, Hermione and Ginny ran into a couple.

"Oh, hi!" said the young woman. She had brown hair, brown eyes, and wore glasses. "You two must be our neighbors for the summer. I'm Tamara Zoller, and this is my husband, Gabriel."

"Hi. We're here with our boyfriends. They're inside unpacking. I'm Hermione Granger and this is Ginny Weasly."

"Nice to meet you. Gabriel, hun, why don't you help the other guys unpack. IF it's okay with you?" she asked the girls.

"Sure," Gabriel said, heading for the cabin.

"I love your suit," Ginny said. Tamara was wearing a red two-piece suit. Her hair was braided into pigtails and she was wearing a black net sun-hat. She wore black sandals and had a canvas messenger bag slung across her shoulders.

"Thanks. So, what's it like?"

"What do you mean?" Ginny asked

"Being the girl of the most famous wizard in the world. I read your interview in last month's _Witch's Brew_, that's an American gossip magazine,but they never asked you that question."

"Oh. Um, I guess it's the same as dating any other guy. Only more public attention. Um..."

"Don't worry. I'm not going to ask you questions all day. I'm not one to be starstruck... for long."

"Oh. Good."

"So, find anyone?"

"What?" Hermione asked, confused.

"Anyone who might distract your men from you?"

"No. Not yet. But we only just came out."

"There are a lot of hot women out today. But they all have body-builder boyfriends, so I doubt the guys will look at them much. Unless they're not afraid of getting buried in the sand."

"Oh, good." Ginny said. The three girls went out on the beach to find a good place to sit.

"Why do we get stuck unpacking?" Ron grumped, shoving his and Hermione's clothes into a dresser.

"Who knows?" Harry answered. "You'd probably better do that right, or Hermione'll have you do it again." Harry was hanging his and Ginny's clothes in a closet in the next room.

"It's so that they can look and see if there are any girls hotter than they are," a voice from the hall said. "If there are, they'll do everything they can to keep your attention on them." a young man with dirty blonde hair and gray-blue eyes stepped into the room. "Hi. I'm Gabriel Zoller. Your girlfriends said I could come in and meet you. My wife's out scoping the beach with them." He put out his hand. Harry crossed the room and shook it.

"I'm Harry Potter."

"And I'm Ron Weasly."

"Pleased to meet you. I've read about both of you in the _Wizard Times._ That's the American _Daily Prophet_. Anyway, I read about your girlfriends, too, Hermione and Ginny. There were interviews in the magazine Tamara gets. You guys are all pretty famous."

"Harry is, yeah. But I didn't know..." Ron began.

"You helped defeat Voldemort, didn't you? He wasn't as big a problem in America as he was here, but an American branch of his followers, they called themselves Purists, rather than Death Eaters, carried out his orders over there. Anyway, you two need help?"

"Nah, why don't you go out and join your wife?"

"Because she sent me in here. I can't come out til you guys are ready."

"Well, in that case, why don't you put the food in the kitchen?" Harry said, handing Gabriel a large cooler.

About twenty minutes later, the men had finished unpacking and were putting the suitcases in the closet.

"So how did you and Tamara get here? Portkey or Aparration?" Ron asked.

"Airplane and rental car. Tamara's a Muggle-born and hates most magical forms of travel. Actually, I think she hates all magical forms of travel." Gabriel replied. "Not that I look down on Muggle-borns. I was just explaining."

"Well," Harry said, coming out of his and Ginny's bedroom, "That's the last of it. If they don't like where we put things, they can move them. Let's go find them, shall we?"

The men found the women about a mile away from the area where the cabins were.

"So, Tamara, how long have you and Gabriel been together?" Hermione asked.

"About three years. We've been married for a year and a half. Oh, look, there they are." Tamara got up to greet her husband, who was wearing black swim trunks and a Slipknot tee-shirt. Harry's trunks were bottle green and Ron's were blue.

"Hunny, why didn't you wear your new trunks?" Tamara asked. "Those are the ones that are frayed at the bottom."

"Because I didn't pack the new ones."

"Oh."

Tamara sat back down and Gabriel sat next to her. He took off his tee-shirt and set it on the ground next to him.

"How'd you get so built up, Gabriel?" Ron asked, referring to the American man's well-built arm and chest muscles.

"Air Force,"Gabriel said.

"Actually, Air Guard. It's different from the Air Force cuz it's only part-time. He only goes two weekends a month and they can't deploy him."

"Why would they?" Hermione asked.

"Because of the problems in Afghanistan."

"What do you do the rest of the time, Gabriel? When you're not doing the Air Guard?" Harry asked.

"I'm a radio DJ."

"Yeah, for the worst station on the air," Tamara teased.

"What station?" Ron asked.

"You wouldn't have heard of it. It's a Muggle station and it only airs in Virginia. I don't remember what it's called, but they play heavy stuff. Like Slipknot and Ozzy and all the other stuff I don't like."

Harry and the others became fast friends with their American visitors.

"Why don't you four come over to our place for dinner tomorrow?" Tamara asked that evening as they packed up their beach things. "I'm making a roast."

"Sure. What time should we be there?" Hermione asked.

"Around six. What do you like dessert-wise?"

"We'll take care of dessert," Ginny said. They said goodnight and headed for their cabins.

"It was good to meet you," Gabriel said, clapping Ron n the back.

"Ow!" he yelped; he had been badly sunburned.

"Aren't you glad I made you put on sunscreen?" Tamara asked her husband.

"Yes, dear," he replied, rolling his eyes.

"Harry?" Ginny asked that night, searching in the dresser. Harry was lying in bed.

"Yes, dear?"

"Where'd you put my nightgowns?"

"They're hanging up."

"In the _closet?_"

"Yeah?"

"Harry, nightgowns are folded and put into a dresser. Not hung in a closet.."

"Sorry, Ginny. I'll put them away in the morning."

"No, I'm up already. I'll do it."

Ginny finished rearranging the clothes and got in bed. Harry began to rub her shoulders.

"Harry, stop it. I'm not in the mood."

"Not in the mood? But you were flirting with me and teasing me all day."

"Yes, well, I _was_ in the mood then, but I'm not now."

"Why not?"

"I'm tired."

"So'm I, but..."

"Look, something about having to move my clothes around in the middle of the night just turns me off, okay?"

"But you _didn't _have to. I said I'd do it in the morning."

"Never mind, Harry, just go to sleep. We'll talk about it tomorrow." Ginny rolled over and turned off her bedside lamp.

_I don't understand her sometimes, _Harry thought to himself before turning off his own lamp.

Meanwhile, Ron and Hermione were having problems of their own.

Ron came out of the shower and saw Hermione laying on the bed in a pink sheer nightie.

"Her- _Hermione??_ What- where- huh??"

"I bought it a couple weeks ago. I hid it in my little bathroom bag because I knew you wouldn't go in there. Do you like it?"

"Yeah, I like it. Hermione, I never realized..."

"What, that I would ever wear lingerie?"

"Uh-huh. I mean, I always thought about asking you, but I thought... I assumed... I was afraid you'd say no."

"Well, that's what you get for thinking. Now, are you going to come over here, or are you going to stand there with your towel wrapped around your waist?"

Ron sat on the bed and began to kiss Hermione. Hermione kissed back. She wrapped her arms around him and began to pull herself closer.

"Ow!" Ron cried. "Watch the sunburn!"

"Sorry. I thought you had used that salve I gave you."

"Not yet. Will you help me?"

"Yeah." Hermione said a little glumly, getting up to get the jar. She rubbed it into Ron's reddened skin then began to change into her pajamas.

"What's wrong, Hermione?"

"Nothing."

"If nothing's wrong, then why are you getting ready for bed? I thought we were going to..."

"The moment's gone, Ronald. If you had worn sunscreen like I told you to, then we would be. But now the moment's gone. Good night." Hermione rolled over on her side. "Please turn the light off when you're dressed."

"Hermione, I don't understand-"

"No, you don't. Good night, Ronald."

After she was sure Harry was asleep, Ginny went into the kitchen to get a glass of butterbeer. P_erhaps that will calm me down,_ she thought. When she got into the kitchen, she saw that Hermione had had the same idea.

"Want a glass?" she asked. Ginny nodded. "Ron just doesn't understand women. He doesn't understand that we aren't constantly craving physical satisfaction the way men do."

"I'm having the same problem with Harry." Ginny said, sipping at her glass. "I wonder if all women have that problem with men, at one point or another."

"The Zollers' living room light is still on. We could go over and ask Tamara."

So the two girls went over next door and knocked. Tamara answered the door, her hair all mussed and tangled. Hermione noticed that she was wearing Gabriel's Slipknot shirt with her sweats and blushed.

"I'm sorry, were we interrupting?" she asked.

"No, we're finished. Gabriel's just taking a shower," Tamara replied. Then she noticed the troubled looks on her new friends' faces. "What's the matter?" Hermione and Ginny each told her story.

"Does that ever happen to you?" Ginny asked.

"Not really. Most of the time I want it more than he does. Sometimes even more. But a girlfriend of mine gave me a spell to help them to understand women a little better. I'll go get it for you." Tamara went and got a leather-bound notebook from the bookshelf. "Do you have something to write with? Of course not, you came in your pj's just a sec." After fetching a quill and parchment, Tamara began to copy the spell down for them.

"Here you go. This'll help."

Hermione looked at the spell. "Don't you think this is a little drastic?"

"Nope."

Ginny took the spell from Hermione. "Actually, I think this is perfect," she said.

"Well, if you two are sure about it," Hermione said, biting her lip.

"We are," the other two said in unison.

"Oh, fine." Hermione rolled her eyes. "Let's do it tonight, then."

"Admit it," Tamara said. "You're excited about it."

"Okay, maybe a little." Hermione smiled a little. She and Ginny headed back to their cabin and huddled over the spell.

**Okay, so that's chapter one. I hope you enjoyed it. Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Harry Potter, unfortunately, or any related names or characters. All I own are the Zollers and the plot, which is a result of a dream I had the other night, way too much cake, cookies, and Wild Cherry Pepsi.**

When Harry awoke, he was disoriented. He had no idea where he was (it certainly wasn't the Burrow, or even the house on Privit Drive) and his pajama pants didn't fit right. As the fog of sleep receded, he remembered that he was in the cabin at the beach. But that didn't explain his pants not fitting right. He supposed he could have accidentally put on a pair of Ron's. He figured that was probably it. He stood up and felt strangely off-balance. Again, he attributed it to being in unfamiliar territory. He went to the bathroom and shut the door. He looked in the mirror, did a double-take, then let it sink in. The face in the mirror was that of a woman. Harry could see himself in her; his eyes, so much like his mother's eyes. And of course the scar was still there. He started to laugh. Ron must have Jinxed the mirror as a practical joke. _Good one, Ron, _he thought. Harry studied the figure in the mirror. Since Harry didn't wear a shirt to bed, the female-version of him in the mirror was also topless. She had large, full breasts. Actually, she was quite attractive. Sexy, even. Harry turned away from the mirror and stripped to get in the shower. That was when he realized that it wasn't the mirror that had been magicked; it was him. He opened his mouth and screamed a shrill, high-pitched, womanly scream.

Ron was jolted out of sleep by the sounds of a woman screaming. His first thought it was girls playing in the surf, but then he realized it was closer then that; it was in the house. He got up to search for the source. His first thought was that Ginny was in trouble, then he realized that it wasn't her voice. That meant that there was someone else in the house. He ran towards where he heard the screaming: the bathroom. The door was closed and locked.

"Hey, who's in there?" he called. He noticed that his voice wasn't quite right. _Maybe it's a summer cold,_ he thought.

"Don't come in," a female voice answered. "Ron, is that you?" it asked.

"Yeah. How do you know my name? And what are you doing in my house? And why are you screaming?"

"Go look in the mirror," the voice said.

"Why? Is it some sort of trick?"

"No, Ron, I promise you, it's not."

Since the voice sounded sincere, Ron went to the front hall and looked in the mirror. The image was that of a slightly older version of Ginny, mixed in with a much younger version of his mother. His tee-shirt bulged where his new breasts were. Not believing the image in the mirror, he looked down at himself. Sure enough, there were his breasts. He poked one experimentally and felt his finger on the flesh of his chest. He quickly patted his pants and discovered that he had been completely transformed into a woman. That meant that the woman on the other side of the bathroom door was

"Harry?"

"Yeah."

"Look, you go get dressed, and we'll talk about this. Figure out who did this."

"Okay. Meet you in the living room."

Twenty minutes later, Harry and Ron were sitting in opposite armchairs.

"Hey!" Ron exclaimed. "Your boobs are bigger than mine!"

"That isn't the issue here, Ron," Harry said.

"Right. So who do you think did this. And how do we change back?"

"We did," Ginny said from behind Ron.

"We needed to give you a little perspective," Hermione added.

"Perspective? Perspective of what?" Ron shouted.

"That women have feelings, too. That women don't constantly crave sex the way men do. That women have certain ways of doing things and that they have reasons for doing things that certain way," Ginny said.

"How long have you known this spell?" Harry asked.

"Since last night."

"Where'd you get it from?"

"Tamara Zoller. We told her about our problem and she helped."

"That settles it, then," Ron said.

"Settles what?" Hermione asked.

"We aren't going over there for dinner," Harry said.

"Yes we are!" Hermione and Ginny said in unison.

"Yes, dear," Harry and Ron said defeatedly.

"I just have one question," Ron said as Ginny and Hermione were leaving the room.

"What?" Ginny asked.

"Why does Harry have bigger boobs than I do?"

"Biology," Hermione replied.

"Okay," Gabriel said slowly, trying to understand as Tamara explained the situation next door. "So Ginny and Hermione weren't in the mos for sex, so they turned Ron and Harry into women?"

"Something like that," Tamara replied, chopping onions for the roast. "You wanna peel potatoes?"

Gabriel grabbed the potato peeler out from the drawer. "And they got the spell from you?"

"Yup."

"Isn't that one of the spells you promised you'd never use because you don't know the counter-spells?"

"Yeah, but I'm sure it'll wear off on its own in time."

"If you're sure..."

"I am."

The American couple finished readying the roast and Gabriel changed into his swim trunks.

"Are you sure you don't wanna go out onto the beach?

"Yeah, I'm sure. Go have fun. I've gotta clean. We have company coming tonight."

"I don't want to go alone."

"You won't be alone. You'll be with Hermione and Ginny and Harry and Ron." she paused for a moment. "Four women... I don't know if I like that idea..."

"Then I'll stay with my Babygirl."

"I was only teasing. Go. Have fun."

"Not without you."

"You're so difficult! I want you to go because I have a surprise for you!"

"Fine."

Gabriel felt guilty about leaving Tamara alone in the house, but since she asked him to leave so she could ready his surprise, he couldn't say no. Actually, he couldn't say no to her anyway. He met the four girls at the beach where they all had sat yesterday.

"Hey, Gabriel," said a red-haired woman who he assumed was Ron. He sounded a little annoyed. He could understand why. "Were you in on this?"

"Nah. I was in the shower when Ginny and Hermione came over."

A black-haired girl who was obviously Harry came from the cabin with a cooler of sodas.

"What do you want, Gabe?" he asked.

"Gabriel," the American corrected. "I guess a coke. If you have one."

Harry handed Gabriel a red can.

"Where's Tamara?" Ginny asked.

"At the cabin. She's cooking and cleaning for dinner tonight."

"That reminds me; Hermione, we've got to do dessert. Let's go see if Tamara needs help."

They each crabbed a couple sodas and headed for the Zollers' cabin. When they were gone, Ron and Harry moved closer to Gabriel.

"You guys still are dudes in mentality, right?" Gabriel asked cautiously. "I don't have to worry about you hitting on me?"

"Yeah," Harry said. "Ron's been playing with his boobs all day. And me, I still want Ginny pretty bad. So this 'perspective' thing they were going for isn't working."

"Actually, I think the spell is progressive."

"What do you mean?" Ron asked.

"The longer you are a woman in form, the more womanly your mind will become."

"Bloody hell!" Ron exclaimed. "We've got to do something about this"

"We don't have a counter-spell. Tamara thinks it'll wear off in time. Or maybe that once you've learned your lesson, you'll revert back to your natural forms."

"Then we'll get them back."

"Well," Gabriel began, pulling a piece of parchment from the pocket of his trunks. "Tamara doesn't know I copied this down. This spell is kinda the opposite of what they did to you. This spell turns women into men. It'll be a perfect way to get them back."

Harry took the spell and looked it over, Ron reading over his shoulder.

"This is definitely doable," Ron said.

"It seems easy enough," Harry agreed. "I guess we could do it tonight while they're asleep. It works the same way ours does?"

Gabriel nodded. "The longer they're men, the more they'll start to think like men."

"Wicked," Ron said, emulating his older brothers, Fred and George. It was clear he wanted revenge.

"So it worked?" Tamara asked as she swept the kitchen floor.

"You know, they have a housekeeping staff to do that for you. Or you could do it by magic," Ginny said, pointing her wand at a window and sending soap-bubbles at it. "And it didn't work as well as we would have liked."

"What do you mean?"

"It's obvious that they are still men in mentality," Hermione explained. "Ronald's been fondling himself for hours."

"And Harry keeps trying to kiss me," Ginny put in.

"It's a progressive spell," Tamara said.

"So what's this big surprise you're preparing for Gabriel?"

"Well, tomorrow's his birthday and I thought it might be nice to throw him a little party."

"That's nice," Ginny said. "But why not do it tomorrow?"

"Because tomorrow's a special day for just me and him. So we probably won't see you tomorrow."

"Since we're celebrating tonight," Hermione said, taking the cake she had baked out of the cake-saver. "Then I should make this a little more festive." She waved her wand and blue icing flowed out of it to spell the words "Happy Birthday Gabriel!" in blue. She also added blue balloons.

"That's nice," Tamara said, tilting her head. "But it doesn't quite suit him." She flicked her wand and the white frosting became black and the blue decorations became red.

"Perfect," the three girls said in unison. Then they all broke out in a fit of giggles.

"Let's do the rest of the house," Ginny said, making streamers fly out of her wand.

A few hours later, they finished decorating the living room and dining room with red and black streamers.

"Well," Tamara said, looking at her watch. "It's quarter past five. I'm gonna go shower. You girls get dressed or whatever and get ready for the party. Take these to Gabriel," she handed a bag of clothes to Hermione. "Tell him he's not allowed in the house yet. Try to discreetly tell the guys what's going on. I'll see you at six."

"So, remind me again why I can't go into my own house?" Gabriel said after changing into a pair of jeans and a Guns n Roses tee-shirt.

"It's a surprise." Ginny said. She had changed from her swimsuit into a pair of cut-off jeans and a blue tank-top. Hermione was clad in Capri-pants and a green tee-shirt. Harry and Ron, who did not have clothes that would fit their newly feminized bodies, were forced to wear their now too-big blue-jeans and tee-shirts. Harry wore black and Ron wore red. They walked the short distance next door to the Zoller's cabin. Once inside, Gabriel was shocked by the streamers and magic sparklers everywhere. The entire cabin was decorated in red ad black, all the windows were covered with thick curtains so that no light could come through. Tamara had cast a fog spell and a thick fog hung low in the room. The only light came from the red sparklers and several taper candles.

"Baby, did you do all this?"

"I had help," Tamara replied. She wore a deep royal purple short-sleeved dress with black flower silhouettes. "C'mon, let's eat."

She led them into the dining room which was much more subtly decorated; only a few red and black steamers were hung in the corners and door wells and some were wrapped around Gabriel's chair.

Dinner went smoothly. After the roast was cleared away, Hermione brought the cake out and everyone sang "Happy Birthday."

"Thanks, guys," Gabriel said after blowing out his candles. "You didn't have to do this."

"But we wanted to," Hermione said. "And now it's time to open your presents."

"Presents?" Ron, Harry and Gabriel said in unison.

"Yes," Ginny answered. "Presents."

Ginny and Hermione each put a little wrapped box on the table. "We did some very last-minute shopping earlier today at Diagon Ally," Hermione explained.

"How'd you get there?" Harry asked.

"We Apparated," Tamara said.

"But Hunny, you hate Apparating," Gabriel said concernedly.

"Yeah I know." Tamara stuck her tongue out. "I remembered why today."

"Why did you even go?"

"Because the girls only just met you yesterday and they needed help picking out gifts for you."  
Gabriel picked up a small package wrapped in gold. It was from Harry and Ginny. H shook it, could not determine what it was, and unwrapped it. HE opened the little box and saw a silver pocket watch sprinkled with a a red dust.

"They're ruby chips," Ginny explained. "Open it." Inside was not only a clock face but also an engraving: _miamor._

"It's a spell. If you tap the clock face gently with your wand and say the incantation, it'll show you an image of Tamara and how she's doing."

Gabriel opened Hermione and Ron's gift next. It was a small black leather-bound notebook. Gabriel's name was written on the front in gold leaf.

"Thanks," he said, not knowing what else to say.

"You can write important dates in it. Appointments, birthdays, things like that."

"Uh-huh..." Gabriel put the two gifts on a little table in the corner as Tamara cut the cake.

"Well, I'll see you later," Ginny said to Tamara and Gabriel as she and the others left to go home.

"Yup," Tamara said, stepping out on the porch. After everyone said their goodbyes, she and Gabriel went back inside.

"So," Harry said later that night as Ginny and Hermione slept. "Are we sure we want to do this? There's no counter-spell, so we'll have to wait until it runs its course before we can have our girlfriends back."

"Yeah, I'm sure," Ron replied. "I think they might need a dose of perspective, themselves."

Harry took the parchment into the room he shared with Ginny and recited the incantation. He then gave the parchment to Ron, who stood over Hermione and also recited the incantation.

"Well," Ron said, putting the parchment in its hiding place behind the mirror in the hall. "I'll see you in the morning Harry."

"Yeah. Hey Ron?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember what Gabriel said? About how the spell is progressive? Do you think we might start thinking like girls tomorrow?"

"I dunno, mate."

"Well, G'night."

"'Night."

**Okay, so I hope you enjoy. I'm not sure if we'll see much of Tamara and Gabriel for the rest of the story, but I'm sure you guys won't mind. Anyway, I'd love reviews and suggestions. The more reviews I get, the faster I'll post.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry it's been so long since I updated. I've just been stuck in a writer's rut and only just got out. Anyway, I don't own Harry Potter or any related names or places. Enjoy!**

"RONALD!!!" Hermione shouted from the bathroom the next morning.

Almost simultaneously, Ginny shouted "HARRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!"

"You think they noticed?" Ron said, sipping his coffee.

"I would guess so," Harry replied. He was looking in the refrigerator for something to eat. "You want some bacon and eggs?"

"I don't know. You think that's a good idea? I mean, bacon and eggs have a ton of calories. You know?" Harry stared at Ron for a moment. "What?"

"Since when do you worry about calories?"

"Well, I mean, I'm sure it'll go straight to my bum and-" he abruptly stopped when he realized what he said. "Oh my God, Harry, I'm talking like a woman!"

"I know, mate. It's weird! But you're right, bacon wouldn't be a good choice. How about a yogurt cup?"

"Sounds great."

Harry and Ron sat at the breakfast table eating their yogurt cups when Ginny and Hermione came in through the kitchen door, both pissed.

"Is that my yogurt you two are eating??" Ginny asked. Her red hair had magically shortened to the length Harry's hair had been before. She looked like a younger version of Bill Weasly.

"That's the least of our problems, now, Ginny," Hermione said. She looked much like her natural self with harsher, more masculine features. Her frizzy, curly hair was shorter than Ginny's was and her jaw was set strongly. The corners of her mouth were turned down in a frown. "Harry, Ron, why did you do this to us?"

"We aren't the only ones in need of perspective," Harry said, setting down his spoon. "True, we don't know how women work, although today we understand a little more than we did yesterday," He gestured at the yogurt cup. "But you two have no idea what it's like to be men. You have no idea what it's like to lie awake at night, wanting your girl, but you know that she's 'not in the mood,' so you contemplate whether you want to wait until tomorrow night to see if you'll get lucky then, or go into the bathroom where your hand is your best friend."

"And you don't know what it's like to want your man, but he's too preoccupied with chess, or Quidditch, or looking at the girls playing volleyball on the beach to notice you and when he finally does, you're too pissed or hurt to even think about sex," Hermione retorted.

"Look," Ginny said, sitting at the table. "What's done is done. We're sorry that we overreacted."

"And we're sorry we sunk to revenge. But since the Zollers have no counter-spell-"

"What??"

"Yeah, Gabriel told us that they don't have a counter-spell for either spell, so it'll have to run its course naturally."

"And if it doesn't?"

"It will," Ron said. "'Mione, can I borrow your hairbrush?"

"Wh- what?"

"Well, _you_ don't need it. And my hair is in knots." Ron ran his fingers through his shoulder-length hair.

"Come to think of it, mine could use a good conditioning," Harry said.

"Can you two hear yourselves?" Hermione asked.

"Just a few days ago, you teased me about my conditioning habit," Ginny accused Harry.

"Yeah, but I understand now."

"HARRY!" Ginny shouted later that day.

"What's wrong, Sweetie?" Harry asked, coming into the bathroom.

"I need to pee."

"And?"

"And I don't know how to work this thing." Ginny looked down. "Can you help me?"

"Um... that's kind of awkward."

"Harry, if you don't help me, I swear I will never sleep with you again!"

"Fine, fine. I'm still man enough for that to be below the belt."

A few minutes later, Harry and Ginny came out of the bathroom, both faces deep red.

"Let's never speak of this," Ginny said.

"Agreed," replied Harry.

"Um Hermione?" Ron said nervously, poking his head into the bedroom where Hermione was trying to put on Ron's clothes.

"Yes, Ronald?" Hermione was still angry with him.

"I'm, um... I'm bleeding."

"Then get a bandage."

"I'm not sure a bandage will help this."

"Oh, come here, then."

Ron came into the room and Hermione saw bloodstains at the crotch of his pants.

"Ron, you're on your period."

"What?"

"Ron, I know you know what a period is,"

"I know, but _me_?? _I'm _on my period?"

"You _are_ a woman."

"So what do I do?"

"I'll get you a tampon. Or would you prefer a pad?"

"Um?"

"A pad lines your panties and feels like a diaper. A tampon, you stick up your-"

"Hold up, I'm not sticking anything anywhere!"

"Then I'll get a pad."

Hermione got a pad from her bathroom bag.

"Um, 'Mione?"

"Yes?"

"I don't know how-"

"Fine. I'll show you. And you need to change your pants."

"How do I get the blood out?"

"You're a _wizard,_ Ronald. Or rather, a witch. Use a spell."

"Right. You're the best, Hermione." Ron gave Hermione a quick hug and followed her to the bathroom.

"God, I hate being a man," Hermione said much later that night, sitting at the table with Ginny while Harry and Ron slept.

"I know. You know, it took me three times to be able to aim right."

"You mean in the bathroom?"

"Yeah. And besides that, the spell is progressing. I stared at a Muggle girl playing volleyball for ten minutes before I remembered myself. And I was..."

"What?"

"You know... hard."

"Oh,"

"I mean, I'm still attracted to guys, too. I found an old picture of Harry and me and it made me all nostalgic and happy and goosebumpy. Why do you think it's taking longer for their spell to progress than ours?"

"Maybe it takes longer for them to come forward then for us to go backwards."

"Maybe."

"Well, I guess I'll go to bed," Hermione said, stifling a yawn.

"Me too. Night, Hermione.

"Night."

Harry woke up the next morning surrounded by Ginny's muscular arms. He snuggled into them, feeling safe and warm. This morning he didn't mind being a woman nearly as much as he did yesterday and he especially didn't mind anywhere near as much as he did the day before yesterday. Which was probably part of the spell. He could feel Ginny's warm, masculine body fitting him curve for curve as if they were made for each other.

"Harry?"

"Hmmm?"

"You awake?"

"Yeah. What's wrong, hun?"

"I- uh- it's kind of embarrassing."

"Tell me."

"I had a dream..."

"Uh-huh?"

"About a woman."

"Yeah?"

"And now my pants- your pants, I borrowed a pair- are all... wet."

"Oh. Don't worry. It's normal for guys to have wet dreams."

"Do you?"

"All the time. Back when I was still a guy. I'm just curious. What did you dream about?"

"Um.."

"C'mon, tell me."

"You. You were wearing that black teddy of mine. You know the one?"

"Yeah. I've had many dreams of that very piece of clothing. Interesting."

"And Harry?"

"Hmm?"

"I want you."

"I can tell."

"How?"

"Well, I'm assuming that isn't your wand pressing against my bum. Merlin's beard, Ginny, you're big!"

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Can I have you?"

Ron was in the kitchen when Hermione woke up. He was eating a chocolate mousse flavored pudding cup.

"Ron?" she asked groggily Ron turned to greet her.  
"Blimey, 'Mione!"

"What? Did I forget to tie my robe?" she looked down.

"No. You're just... handsome. Sexy."

"I am?" Hermione looked down at herself, wearing only her old worn robe and a borrowed pair of Ron's boxers. She noticed what Ron was eating. "Is that breakfast?"

"For me. I was craving chocolate. I can fix you some bacon and eggs if you want."

"That sounds wonderful. And the chocolate cravings, they're normal for a woman on her period. At least you aren't PMS-ing."

"Yeah, I know. I hate it when you PMS."

Just then, Harry and Ginny walked through the door, smiling at each other and holding hands, completely oblivious to the other two people in the room.

"That was an invigorating experience," Ginny said to Harry, kissing him on his cheek. "No wonder you're always tired afterwords."

"That felt so wonderful. I've never been on the receiving end before. I think I might like it better, actually."

"Ah-hem?" Ron said, looking up from his coffee mug.

"There are others here, you know," Hermione said, getting the eggs out of the refrigerator.

"Sorry," Harry said, still gazing dreamy-eyed at Ginny.

"You know, you two should try-"

"We can't," Hermione said glumly. "Ronald's on his period."

"So?" Ginny said. "That's what showers are for."

"Why are we talking about this?" Harry asked. "Were Ron and I this indiscreet talking about sex?"

"Actually, mate," Ron said, frying bacon. "I think we were

"Mmm," Ginny interrupted. "That smells great. Are you making enough for us?"

"Yeah, if you want." Ron put a few more slices of bacon in the pan and cracked a few more eggs.

"I'm not going to get my period, am I?" Harry asked nervously.

"Probably," Hermione replied. "Women in the same household tend to have the same schedule."

"Great," he said sarcasticly. "Just what I need is to bleed from my-"

"Harry," Ginny said warningly.

"What? I was just going to say private areas."

A large Great Horned Owl landed in the middle of the table at lunch time, spilling Ron's tomato soup.

"Arg!" he shouted "Bloody bird, that's HOT!"

The owl squawked sharply, as if scolding Ron for shouting.

"Look, there's a letter on its leg," Ginny said. Harry untied it.

"It's from Gabriel and Tamara." He read the note out loud.

_Dear neighbors,_

_We had to cut our vacation short and head back home to the States. Sorry we can't stay and see how things work out. By the way, we called some friends of ours, the ones who gave us those spells. It turns out that they don't wear off on their own. They're meant to be permanent. The counter spells do exist, we just can't find them. Neither could our friends. Terribly sorry._

_Have a great summer _

_Gabriel and Tamara_

"_WHAT?"_ Hermione shouted after Harry read the letter. "What do they mean, 'meant to be permanent?' "

"I dunno, 'Mione," Ron said, wiping at his soup-stained clothes with a wet paper towel. "But I guess we're on our own."

"I guess so," Harry said darkly. "I bet they left 'cause they didn't want to be bothered by us. They're content to ruin our lives but don't want to dirty their hands to help us."

"Tamara's not like that. She didn't know. And I bet Gabriel didn't know either. And as to why they had to leave... we can ask them. Their owl's still here."

They decided not to bother the Americans in case they had something important had called them back home. They gave the Great Horned Owl an owl treat and sent it to the spare bedroom to sleep with Pig and Harry's new owl, Mercury.

"You can go home once you've had some rest," Ginny said, still an animal-lover even as a man.

**Okay, so hope you enjoyed. Sorry if this chapter sorta sucked... Or if it was boring. Anyway, R&R. I'll try to update soon!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't own Harry Potter or related names and places.**

**This chapter takes place a couple weeks after the others.**

**A/N: In the seventh book, Harry starts calling the adults by their first names, so he's going to in my fic, too**.

"Ginny, aren't you done packing yet?" Harry asked.

"Almost. Why in the name of Merlin's beard did I pack so many bloody clothes?" Ginny grumped

"Because you are- or were anyway- a woman."

Harry, Hermione and the Weaslys were packing up to head back to the Burrow. Ron had written his parents and explained the situation.

"You two ready?" Hermione called from the doorway.

"Just about," Ginny answered. "I just have to shove a few more clothes... somewhere."

Hermione waved her wand and all of Ginny's clothes fit perfectly in her suitcase.

"Thanks, Hermione. Who's going to return the key?"

"You can, Ginny. Tell them you're Ron. They only saw him in passing and all they know about him is he's got red hair."

Fifteen minutes later, the witches and wizards were behind an empty cabin, ready to Apparate to the Burrow.

" 'Mione, have you been able to learn that spell?" Ron asked. "The one where we can send our luggage ahead of us?"

"Yes, but I haven't tried to do it over such a large distance."

"How far have you been able to send things?" Harry asked.

"From the Burrow to Bill and Fleur's house."

"Hermione, that's an even larger distance than this is," Ginny said patiently

"Oh, alright, I'll try, but if we lose our things, it isn't my fault." She flicked her wand and the suitcases disappeared. If anyone had been watching, they would have seen the four young adults vanish next, accompanied by the sound of a whip cracking.

"Blimey Ron," George said, helping his younger brother up from the floor. "You look better as a woman than you ever did as a boy."

"Oh, shut up," Ron replied.

"Oh good," Molly said, coming out of the kitchen. "I was a little worried when your baggage came by itself. I've already put it in your rooms. I've written Minerva and she'll be by this weekend to see if she can do anything."

"Do you really think she can help?" Hermione asked. "We've tried everything we can think of, but nothing's worked."

"Well, she _is _considerably older and wiser than you lot."

"Wow Harry, no offense but... you're bloody sexy!" George said. Ginny glared at her older brother.

"Back off," she all but snarled.

"Woah, Gin, take it easy. I'm only joking. "You know me, Joking George?"

"Sorry, George," Ginny said. "I'm just not myself lately."

"That's an understatement."

"You know what I meant!"

"What I want to know is how this happened. Mum never told me."

All at once, everyone was slinging accusations; nothing was their own fault but somebody else's.

"Please, stop fighting," Arthur said from the kitchen. "I'm working on something very important for work.

Nobody seemed to hear him.

"BE QUIET!" Molly shouted after a few moments of pandemonium. The arguing ceased. Nobody could bellow like Molly Weasly. "Now, George, _I _know what happened and Minerva knows what happened. If they had wanted _you _to know, they'd have written _you, _not me. Now, you lot go unpack your things while I finish fixing supper."

Everybody marched upstairs, quite put off by Molly's yelling.

After supper, there was a knock at the door.

"Oh that must be Minerva," Arthur said and hurried off to greet her.

"What a fine mess you seem to have gotten yourselves into," McGonagal said after seeing the four Charmed teenagers. "Well, let's see what we can do about it. I take it you still have the spells?"

McGonagal studied the two pieces of parchment for a little while and said finally: "I may have to have others take a look at this. Do you mind?"

"Whatever you can do to put us back." Harry said adamantly.

After McGonagal had left, George said quietly, so that Molly wouldn't hear, "There is a bright side to this Harry."

"Oh yeah? Well I, for one, fail to see the light."

"You don't have to worry about people flocking around you anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"You see, you're no longer the Boy Who Lived." George began to chuckle.

"That's not funny, George," Harry said, unamused.

"Wow, Harry, you really _are_ a woman." George resumed his normal volume

"How do you mean?"

"You have no sense of humor." Suddenly, Ginny, Hermione, and Molly were all somehow towering above him, glowering. "I didn't mean it! It was only a joke!" He shrank in on himself and sulked. "I told you women have no sense of humor," he muttered under his breath. "I'm the only bloody man in the house."

Later that night, after George had gone back to his flat above the joke shop, Harry, Ron, Ginny and Hermione sat at the kitchen table.

"I've been doing some research," Hermione began.

"Big surprise, there," Ron said sarcastically.

"Oh, shut up, Ronald. I still haven't found a counter-spell, but I have found some useful, albeit disheartening, information. We performed this spell under a waning crescent moon, so we have until the next waning crescent moon to fix it."

"What do you mean?" Harry asked.

"If we don't set ourselves to rights before the waning crescent, the counter-spells won't work."

"And when is the next waning crescent?" Ginny asked.

"Next Friday."

**Short, I know, but I just love stopping with cliffhangers and I didn't think I'd come up with a better one then this. Sorry about the veeeeery long update… my computer crashed. Anyway, read and review, and I'm open to suggestions, ideas, and inspirations. I'll put you in a super-special credits section and give you awesome cyber-brownies!**


End file.
